Stuck in sexual patterns...
Awareness of movement in the body is one tool I encourage clients to connect with during every session, with particular attention on noticing how the body tenses, tightens or contracts with unconscious conditioned patterns when they’re aroused. I see a lot of clients whose bodies are rigid, frozen, unable to allow the flow of sexual energy to move easily. Most people contract and squeeze around the buttocks, the lower abdomen, the hamstrings and the thighs. Perhaps you recognise that pattern of thrusting, clenching or squeezing to either reach orgasm or hold off from it.
Our bodies adjust to trauma or learned patterns of movement over time. A simple example of this might be that if if you are right-handed you will instinctively turn to your right, presenting your left and protecting your right, when you feel threatened – this is a pattern installed and learned during childhood. Tension shifts in the body to compensate for imbalances and we expend energy maintaining that tension. Through gentle, conscious movement during self pleasuring or sex we can release the energy stored in those blocks, opening up the body and allowing sensation to expand through every inch and cell. First though, you have to become aware of where the tension and tightness, the imbalances, lie in your body. This is part of the process of coming back into connection with your body. You can combine the breath meditation I’ve written about before (here) with a full body scan, noticing where your body is hard/braced or where you are holding yourself. Pay particular attention to your pelvis, lower back, abdomen, shoulders and jaw. Try to gently do the same whilst you are making love or masturbating, notice how your body instinctively moves, which hand do you use to touch yourself, where do you clench, how fast or slow does your body contract?
When you are expending energy maintaining a pattern in your body it is busy and not available for other things. There is very little difference between the physical, emotional, mental and energetic. They are all energy, just in different patterns, using different frequencies. As you loosen the patterns everything gets loosened up: your body, your energy, your mind and the emotions you have locked down in your body. The less energy you have tied up in maintaining old patterns the more you will have available to experience moving in your body.
This can be particularly helpful for those struggling with forms of anorgasmia, premature ejaculation issues or erectile dysfunction issues. Becoming aware of stored tension in the body, then drawing breath and movement to those areas can free the body up to let go of old habits and patterns. Within my sessions I work directly on your body to relax these areas of tightness but also encourage you to be self aware and include gentle movement when you notice these patterns.
If you’re curious about how to identify your movement or tension patterns and you’d like support in undoing them then get in touch for a session.