A new way to masturbate...
I developed this self-pleasuring practice to combine a structured way of moving attention through the body with loving self-touch. Exploring your body in this way ensures that no area is left untouched, you explore the whole body in a balanced and equanimous way.
Combining Vipassana and touch...
Vipassana is a form of meditation that focuses on sensations in the body. It teaches you to neither crave or avoid sensations, interrupting the suffering that comes from our perpetual cycle of judging things to be either ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Vipassana teaches you to simply observe sensations, to not be distracted by the reactions to those sensations, to find a state of equanimity in your being.
You can learn more about Vipassana Meditation HERE.
If you are trying to change your relationship with masturbation I’m sure you’ve hit that roadblock of ‘where should I begin, what should I do differently, how do I change my habits???’
It can be really difficult to start a new habit when all you have is the existing instruction manual to go by.
So, this is a great base to start from. It gives you a new framework.
You are going to move your attention and touch systematically, methodically, through your body, down from the crown of your head to the tips of your toes and back up again.
Basic starter steps…
- Do this in a quiet, private space where you are not going to be interrupted.
- Set a timer: 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 30 minutes – however long you want. Start small.
- Be naked: exploring your own skin-to-skin sensations is vital in this practice.
- Let go of expectations, goals, the need to ‘achieve’ anything. Simply explore and observe.
- Remember to breathe deeply throughout your practice.
- Find a position that is comfortable where you can reach to touch the front, back & sides of your body. However, feel free to change position during the practice if you want.
Take your hands to the crown of your head.
Let them move slowly down over your skull, your face, let your fingers investigate and touch your eyes, your nose your mouth, ears etc.
Move the hands slowly down over your neck, over each arm, down over your chest, your armpits, your belly.
Let them sweep round over your lower back.
Move your hands to your pelvis, your genitals, your buttocks, your anus.
Send your touch down over your thighs, your knees, down to your ankles and feet.
Pause for one breath then reverse the touch, passing up through your body back to the crown of your head.
Repetition is the key...
You will repeat this methodical journey through your body for the duration of your practice.
Notice any sensations that you feel under your hands, on the areas that are being touched.
Notice if there are any parts of your body that you linger on, or avoid.
Try to keep your attention moving equanimously, in a balanced flow from top to toe and back.
As the time passes and you complete more ‘sweeps’ of your body, you might notice the sensations changing and shifting.
You might notice your attention drifts, distracting thoughts appear.
You might notice difficult or pleasurable emotions arising.
All of these things are normal…
When you notice changes in sensation just observe them, no ‘good’ or ‘bad’.
When you notice you are distracted, take your hands back to the crown of your head and begin again. Sometimes you may not get your hands further than your neck before you realise that you are distracted. Take a breath and begin again, moving your hands even slower.
When emotions arise, allow them to be felt. It might be sadness, anger, joy, nervousness, arousal – anything can come up. Do not dismiss them as ‘bad’ or indulge in them as ‘good’.
Changing your neural wiring...
The other aspect of this practice is that it encourages you to draw a new map of your body.
By systematically touching your entire self, without a goal or agenda, you allow sensory receptors in your skin to be stimulated and dormant neural pathways to fire up in your brain.
If you have spent very little time touching yourself during your life, it is like living in a house with hundreds of rooms with locked doors and no lights on. This process is about walking around in your house, opening doors and switching on lights, learning and creating an awareness of every room rather than just living in one small cupboard!
Try this practice daily for a week – even 5 minutes a day will begin to bring new sensation and awareness to your body.
If you are able to choose where your attention is placed in your body, rather than being distracted by thoughts or external stimuli, your ability to inhabit, feel and enjoy yourself during sex will increase exponentially.
The skill of focussing attention and noticing sensation in the body is something that many of my clients struggle with. This can come from a dependence on porn, because of traumatic past experiences, from negative body-image beliefs, numbing through scar tissue and many other issues.
If this resonates for you and you would like to learn more then do get in touch to arrange a session.