Breast massage in mindful masturbation

Give your breasts some love

Regardless of your gender and the size or shape of your breasts and nipples, they can be a deeply pleasurable area of the body. If you’re leaving your breasts and nipples out of your intimate life you’re missing out on a potential reservoir of yummy sensations! There are over 100 nerve endings in each nipple, stimulating the same part of your brain as your genitals (ref) – making orgasm from nipple stimulation a possibility for both men and women. Typically the nerve endings in male breasts are gathered more closely together, whilst the distribution in female breasts is often more spread out (ref) – something to bear in mind when playing with your own or someone else’s breasts!

Benefits of breast massage

Often the only reason we’ve been told to touch our breasts, as women, is in order to check for cancerous lumps. I don’t think men are even given that encouragement to interact with this delicious part of their own body. A self-exam for lumps is something that we should all do regularly (it takes just a couple of minutes in the shower) but there are other benefits of playing with your boobs:


Stress relief and nervous system regulation. Massage in general is widely proven to help reduce levels of the ‘stress hormone’ cortisol, and increase the release of endorphins (which are natural mood elevators and pain relievers). Massaging the chest and breast area more specifically addresses a lot of the muscles involved in breathing which become tense and tight, especially during periods of stress or anxiety. Lovingly attending to this part of your body will relax these muscles, reducing tension and promoting a more effortless and natural breathing pattern. This has a wonderful ‘down regulating’ effect on your nervous system.


Improved circulation and lymphatic support. Again, it’s well known that massage improves circulation, which improves delivery of oxygen and nutrients. Additionally, because of the concentration of lymph nodes in the armpit and chest area, regularly stroking and massaging here (using some of the techniques outlined below) can promote better lymphatic drainage and function. This is beneficial for your immune system and overall health.


Eases muscular tension. Many of us are sitting at a computer all day, hunching and compressing the muscles of the chest. This affects so many aspects of your body and brain – from breathing to digestion, from back pain to fatigue. Using massage and stretching, to help these muscles relax and decompress, will improve your general wellbeing.


Emotional release. Breast massage can sometimes bring up emotions as we focus on nourishment and self-care. When you massage and touch here it’s often less focussed on the goal-oriented sexual vibe of genital-based masturbation, and more on nurturing yourself and promoting a sense of self-love, acceptance, and relaxation. Energetically our heart area holds a lot of our unexpressed emotion, and connecting with your chest/breasts is a gateway to emotional balance.


Increased pleasure. The nipples are considered an erogenouse zone as stimulating them lights up regions of the brain such as the genital sensory cortex, somatosensory cortex, and the hypothalamus. These brain regions are involved in processing sensory information and generating pleasurable sensations. Our breasts and nipples might be a starting place for arousal or they can be used to increase or enhance existing arousal. The key to ‘nipplegasms’ is to take your time, go slow. Using a variety of self-touch techniques as we’ll explore in a moment will maximise the stimulation!

Embracing self care

I encourage you to spend some time with your breasts every day, caressing or massaging them. This doesn’t have to be time-consuming: I personally wake up in the morning, cup my breasts and hold them for a few moments whilst I’m still under the duvet. I use the ‘shaking’ technique outlined below for about 30 seconds and then give them a few loving strokes before I get out of bed. The whole thing takes no more than 3 minutes, but feels delicious!

The sensations, thoughts and emotions that arise for you as you touch or look at your breasts might not be instantly orgasmic – can you allow yourself to just be present with whatever is there? I used to have an extremely negative relationship with my boobs, and I’ve worked with many men and women who have also felt self-conscious, unsatisfied, ashamed or disconnected from theirs. Particularly as a woman, the appearance, sensitivity and even function of our breasts changes throughout the month, and our wider life-cycle. Try to use your time with breast massage as a way to send love and gratitude to this powerful and potent part of you. I can personally attest that, with time, you will be rewarded with deeper connection, acceptance, pleasure and joy in this part of your body.

How to massage your breasts

I suggest setting aside at least 15 minutes for a full self-massage practice for your breasts. If you want to follow along with a guided video you’ll find one in my online mindful masturbation course. You’ll need:

  • Somewhere warm and comfortable to sit propped up or lying down
  • Some cushions and a towel
  • Some oil or lube to hand (I recommend organic coconut oil (Amazon linkas an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases), silicone based lube or oil based lube))
  • Optional: music and a speaker (I personally find this helps me relax and feel like I’m really focusing on my pleasure and enjoyment)

Lay your towel underneath you to avoid any oil or lube staining your sheets or sofa.

Arrange your cushions, get comfortable and then begin by being still for a few moments.

Take a few slow breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. 

Take time to let the mind chatter quieten slightly, and shift your attention to the physical sensations in your body. 

Notice how your chest and abdomen move as you breathe, be curious about any areas that feel tense and see if you can let them gradually soften with your exhale.

Your breast massage can include some or all of the following techniques: 

Warm up the area – begin by caressing your whole chest area before actually touching your breasts. Glide your hands up over your arms to your shoulders, and along your collarbones; lift your arms and stroke down to your armpits and the sides of your ribcage. Circle your hands over your sternum and pec muscles.

Circles – placing two or three fingers flat on your nipples, gently circle your touch in one direction and then the other. You can massage one breast or nipple at a time or both. Play with what feels pleasurable for you. Deepen the sensations with your breath, sound or movement. Start in the centre of your nipples and move out. And then back in again. 

A variation on this stroke is to start on the outside of your breasts and with the flat tips of your fingers make small spirals as you gradually move in to the centre.

Four Directions – using the palm of your hands stroke across your breast in each of the four directions: North, South, East and West. Notice which direction feels the most pleasurable for you on that day.

Kneading – with the base of your palms, knead your breasts like you would bread dough. Explore pressure – what sort of pressure and pace do your breasts feel they need today. Notice if there are places within your breast that feel more sensitive than others.

Flatten and stroke – using both hands place one hand flat on the top of your breast and the other flat hand on the underside. Gently stroke both hands together towards the nipple. You might like to try this stroke on the sides of your breast also. Swap to the other breast.

Cupping – cup your breasts in your hands and move the whole breast in a circle. Then try the other direction. You can also jiggle the breast over the ribcage – this is wonderful and relaxing for the fascia.

Under stroke – with one hand cup one breast and gently lift it so that you have access to the skin underneath your breast. Use your other hand to stroke under the breast. Explore with different directions. Try very light fingertip touch, smooth oily touch or some gentle scratching with nails to play with a contrast of textures.

Meridians – you can explore and massage the kidney meridian that runs through your breasts by moving your hands from the top of your throat, down between your breasts and then in underneath your breasts. Explore moving energy through this meridian with intention and awareness. 

Shaking – cup each breast with your full hand and shake. Awaken your breasts with this movement. Maybe add sound and see where the rest of your body might like to move also. 

Inside out – move your hands, palms, nails – whatever feels good for you – from the space in between your breasts outwards. Include your breast in this stroke and notice how the rest of your body responds. As you make this opening movement through your chest, feel the connection to your shoulders, neck and the space between your shoulder blades. This is often a space of great tension and tightness. Notice if there are any emotional responses and if so, allow them to be expressed. 

Squeezing the nipple – nipples are the epicentre of the breast and stimulating them activates not only our endocrine system but also aids in lubrication of our genitals. Roll your nipples between your finger tips and notice where you feel this in your body. Slowly increase the pressure and begin to squeeze the nipple pulling it slightly away from your body. Span your fingers outward from the centre of the nipple massaging each of the directions. Notice where you feel the most sensation in your nipple and what is most stimulating for you.

Full body pleasure

As you explore your breast massage, remember to also enjoy and notice the sensations in other parts of your body. How do your genitals feel? Your clitoris? Vagina? Penis? Are you staying present, breathing deeply, allowing sound and expression, letting your body move and playing with different levels of arousal? You might like to add some other textures to your breast exploration. Explore different fabrics or objects of warmth and coolness. Play with the intensity of sensation by paying attention to what feels connecting and pleasurable to you. You might like to explore things like nipple clamps, feathers, ice…there are many other possibilities. Give yourself permission to explore and enjoy!

It can be nice to close your massage with stillness, just holding your hands lightly over your breasts or chest. Take a few moments to enjoy the oxytocin you have produced and maybe even speak some loving words to your boobs if you feel moved to. 

If you’re interested in exploring the pleasure in your breasts in more depth then I highly recommend enrolling on my online course in mindful masturbation, which includes a follow-along video practice with me. 

With Love,



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