What is armouring?
The theory around armouring works on the premise that our emotional and physical body stores all the experiences we have throughout our lives in our muscles, our connective tissue, our organs. Sometimes life is painful, challenging, tiring, overwhelming, infuriating and many other things. Most of us learn to repress, suppress, numb and avoid all these uncomfortable emotions rather than feel and express them in a healthy, understandable and complete way. This creates points of tension, tightness, contraction, pain or numbness that affect our posture, the way we breathe, the way we move, the way we inhabit our bodies. These points create an interruption in the flow of our energy, our vitality, and prevent us from experiencing our full aliveness. Imagine the plumbing in a house: over many years someone has gone around with a hammer and banged dents in all the pipes – contorting them out of shape, creating kinks and limiting the flow of water through the system. When you turn on the shower the water trickles out weakly because of the system-wide interruptions, instead of dousing you with a pleasurable and strong pressure.
You might not notice these points in your body as being ‘armoured’ until attention is drawn to them in a bodywork session. What you may be aware of is a sense of limitation or restriction. It could be experienced as recurring pain, injuries or illness. It could be that you just don’t feel very much at all, there’s a lot of numbness and disconnection.
Where did the concept of body armouring develop?
The concept of armouring appears in many different modalities, cultures and belief systems. Wilhelm Reich, and his approach to somatic therapy, considered body armouring as both a physical and psychological defense mechanism and his work has influenced other body-oriented therapies like bioenergetics (developed by Alexander Lowen), Reichian bodywork, and somatic experiencing (by Peter Levine).
In Chinese medicine it’s believed that emotional and physical traumas can lead to ‘Qi stagnation’. This is seen as tightness, discomfort or restricted movement in the body and can develop to ‘blood stagnation’ which, again, shows up as pain, scar tissue, or emotional numbness. The Ayurvedic tradition describes ‘granthis’ or energetic knots which are formed from unresolved emotions and create rigidity in the body. Shiatsu views armouring as imbalances where some areas of the body become deficient – ‘Kyo’ (collapsed/weak) and others become excessively full – ‘Jitsu’ (rigid/tense).
It’s also been integrated into more modern modalities like tantric bodywork and holistic healing practices as an expression of the mind-body response to stress, trauma or emotional suppression. Things like myofascial release work, craniosacral therapy and Trauma Releasing Exercises (TRE) approach it in unique and complementary ways.
Regardless of the origin or the modality that you’re following, there is always some process that has been developed to release the chronic muscular tension and promote emotional healing and increased energy flow.
What are the benefits of a Tantric dearmouring session?
In these sessions I use deep tissue work, breathwork, pressure points, and sometimes more specialised methods like myofascial release to help clients process and let go of stored emotions and trauma, and relax physical tension. Unlike a regular sports or spa massage, a dearmouring session isn’t necessarily a passive experience where I just work on your ‘meat and bones’. You are encouraged to make sound, express emotions, guide the touch and generally be more consciously connected to your body during the experience. I have received many of these sessions myself, and the only way I can describe it is that you feel like you’ve been lovingly put through a wringer. There’s an element of catharsis, it’s not a soft and wafty massage, and I often leave feeling lighter, more open and more aware of the subtle sensations in my whole body. It’s a form of physical and emotional maintenance, a ‘spiritual workout’.
Why do people talk about dearmouring the anus and genitals?
The practice of using dearmouring techniques on the anus and genitals has the same basic principles as working with the rest of your body. Most people carry a lot of shame, tension, disconnection, dissatisfaction and sometimes trauma in their pelvis and genitals. This limits sexual pleasure, contributes to sexual issues like erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation and vaginismus, and can be a major barrier to experiencing deeper, more full-body orgasmic sensations.
In many Tantric teachings, the anus is seen as a bit of a roadblock to sexual energy moving from the genitals, up through the spine, and through the rest of the body. Having a relaxed and dearmored anus can mean that you are able to circulate sexual energy in your body, rather than lose it in an ejaculation or ‘peak orgasm’. It also opens up the possibility of anal orgasms – which are accessed via different neural pathways than the clitoris or penis.
As my Tantra teacher, Alex Vartman, writes in his book ’50 Misconceptions of Sex’: ‘After de-armouring the man is more relaxed in the base of the body and is now more sensitive and better able to feel and control the point of ejaculation. This increased sensitivity and awareness can mean that the man is able to have sex for longer periods and is better able to feel his partner’s physical responses.’
The majority of clients that I work with, who are struggling with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, have tension around the pelvic floor and anal sphincters. Female clients who experience pain during penetration (vaginismus) often have chronically tight or overactive pelvic floor muscles. It’s my experience that having more awareness of this area, and being able to choose to relax the muscles, has huge positive impacts on all of these sexual issues.
Ultimately if you can experience physical and mental relaxation around your anus you’re far more likely to feel pleasurable sensations there. And why wouldn’t you want to program your whole body for pleasure?
What happens in an anal dearmouring bodywork session?
An anal dearmouring session begins with some pressure point massage through the rest of your body, usually around the hips, thighs, glutes, lower back and up through the spine, then around the jaw, the chest, the belly and the pelvis. Different practitioners work in different ways – it’s always a good idea to ask for a description of the session before you begin. Once your body is more generally relaxed, and ‘opened up’ for a better flow of energy and sensation, the touch moves to the pelvis.
First we spend some time massaging the outside of the anus, between the butt cheeks and around the perineum area. This is often a surprisingly pleasurable experience for those who are new to anal massage, and in the early stages of getting to know your arse it’s usually easier to tune in to the subtler external sensations than internal. There are some external trigger points that we press on – more gently than the earlier full body work. Sometimes this prompts muscular releases – little flutters or twitches – that can be felt down the legs, into the hips and through the lower belly.
After a while I will check with you whether you’re ready to move to internal touch. Using plenty of lube and a gloved hand I very slowly insert one finger (to begin with), about 3cm deep, and hold still – the key with anal dearmouring is not to rush, to give your body time to relax and for any emotions to be released. I’ll then start to gently stretch, applying pressure with my finger, in different directions around the sphincter. The anus is a muscle that is designed to stretch – think about the fact that you pass sizeable poops out of it (hopefully) daily. Anal dearmouring is not about ‘depth’, we’re not trying to get all the way up into your colon, the focus is on ‘unclenching’ and exploring the vulnerability of letting go. So, once it feels relaxed with the stretches from one finger, I’ll check again with you, add a second finger and begin the stretches again. We repeat this up to three fingers and once that feels relaxed – maybe even pleasurable – you’re considered ‘dearmoured’.
Throughout this process I’m encouraging you to breath deeply, make sound and allow any emotion to come out. For many there is an intense vulnerability in being penetrated, in surrendering and allowing the body and mind to ‘let go’. I incorporate soft, grounding touch around the rest of your body, which helps create a sense of safety and connection, and guide you to direct my touch so we go at your pace.
Is anal dearmouring dangerous?
People are often concerned that relaxing the anal sphincter with massage in this way will mean they end up incontinent. This really will not happen. Damage like this to the anal sphincter muscles is usually a result of something much too large being forced in much too quickly. The dearmouring process moves very slowly, there is a full body build up and the ‘end point’ of three fingers is really no thicker than an average poop – if it goes out it can go in. Another common concern I hear is that the delicate lining of the rectum could get scratched and cause bleeding: this is why I always wear gloves and we use plenty of lube. I also very often get asked whether it’s dangerous to have an anal dearmouring if you have haemorrhoids. It’s totally possible, it just requires even more slowness and care. It can also have a positive impact as haemorrhoids are often caused through over-contraction and tightness in the anal sphincter – relaxing your little tight-arse will mean those pockets of tissue don’t get forced to the outside.
How to prepare for anal dearmouring
It’s a good idea to take a shower before your session, general cleanliness is appreciated. You can also do an anal douche, using an anal cleaning bulb. Check out my YouTube video for a simple guide. It’s not necessary to do a full, deep enema – we’re only going in to about 3cm, just that little end part of your rectum. It’s often enough to just make sure that you poop about an hour before the anal work begins. There’s not much else to do but bring yourself and an open mind.
If you’re interested in booking a session please get in touch via email and check my availability page for session dates/times. For some inspiration on anal massage techniques you can download my free pdf, and if you’re interested learning more then check out my upcoming online course in anal massage.
With Love,
Libby
