Not ejaculating could give you that 'extra edge' in life
If you’ve stumbled upon my blog and website it’s possible you’re already on a path of self-improvement; seeking new ways in which you can grow as a person, as a lover, as a friend, as a partner, in your work, in your physical pursuits, or in your creative pursuits. If you’ve done even a little bit of research into improving wellbeing and optimising your potential, you will have found that there are often four common categories that people talk about in which to focus your attention: Mental – Physical – Spiritual – Sexual. A non-ejaculation, or semen retention, practice might seem like it only fits into the ‘Sexual’ column, but the benefits can spread out into the other 3 pillars of your life – let’s take a look at how.
Semen retention isn't a modern idea
While it may initially seem like a crazy idea, abstaining from ejaculation for a set period of time – whether that’s a day, a week, months or even indefinitely – can have significant positive effects across many aspects of your life. A quick Google search will show you that the conversation around avoiding ejaculation has begun to infiltrate the mainstream mindset in recent years: for example in the NoFap community, and in wider ‘Bio Hacking’ conversations. The truth is that the original concept has been around for Centuries. Men have been experiencing the physical, mental, spiritual, and other benefits of semen retention long before it became an internet fad. While they may not have known the mechanisms behind the scientific benefits of not ejaculating like we do today, the notions were evident in the form of Taoism and Tantric sex:
“The seed of the Tao is light; the essence of the human body is semen. When semen is conserved, the mind is strong. When light is strong, spirit returns.” – Secret of the Golden Flower (a Taoist meditation manual from the 17th century, translated by Richard Wilhelm, with commentary from Carl Jung).
On the other hand, there may be several benefits that we are still learning the true extent of today.
Is semen retention bad for you?
In the long-run there are not that many downsides to exploring a non-cumming practice, or avoiding the ‘peak orgasm’ (ejaculation). The main one that guys generally tell me they’re concerned about is that all that sperm will get backed up somewhere – who knows, perhaps it could explode out through their nose!? This won’t happen. Sperm has a lifespan of a few weeks in the epididymis (a long, coiled tube located behind each testicle). If unused, old sperm cells are broken down by Sertoli cells and reabsorbed into the surrounding tissues. The nutrients (like proteins, lipids, and nucleic acids) are recycled into the bloodstream and used by the body. Fluids from the seminal vesicles, prostate gland, and bulbourethral glands, produced at the time of arousal/ejaculation, are simply reabsorbed or discarded in the urine – they aren’t stored for long periods of time.
There’s also the question of an increased risk of prostate cancer. Some older studies speculated about this link, and the cherry-picked headlines will tell you that ‘ejaculating regularly’ actually decreases your risk of prostate cancer. However, bear in mind that the ‘non ejaculating’ subjects in these studies are abstaining from any kind of sexual activity, rather than healthily connecting with arousal and just avoiding the climax. The studies also showed that it’s only roughly a 10% higher chance of prostate cancer if you don’t ejaculate regularly (but remember, in the context of these studies that means living like a monk). There has not been a reliable study done with a test group of men who are actively practicing Tantric sex, avoiding the peak orgasm, regularly massaging their prostate and massaging their pelvic floor to encourage good blood flow and relaxation. It would be interesting to see how the PSA levels of such a control group measured up against guys who are stuck in the ejaculation cycle and cumming daily.
It’s my personal theory that if you take a mindful approach to arousal, you include regular self-massage and self-pleasure, or have regular sex without ejaculating, then you are generating optimal blood flow in the genitals and prostate and facilitating the body’s natural process of reabsorption. But, as always, please remember that I am not a medical professional and none of my rambling blog posts should be taken as medical advice 🙂
In the short term it may feel uncomfortable and challenging to give up a habit or way of doing things that is so ingrained. Is that necessarily something that is ‘bad’ for you? Sure, it will take your body and mind some time to adjust and learn new ways of directing your attention, energy and time. But, if you’re reading this and you’re interested in personal growth then you’re probably already in a mindset of renouncing short-term pleasures for long-term benefits!
Benefits of semen retention
So, let’s look at the four pillars of wellbeing and personal development as a framework for the benefits of non-ejaculation.
The Mental benefits of not ejaculating
For many guys the positive mental and emotional benefits of this practice are linked to a sense of mastery and self-control. Creating a strong discipline practice like this in your life can facilitate a reduction in stress or anxiety, this can lead to an increase in motivation when it comes to your work, completing projects around the house, or the pursuit of other goals. There’s a strong link between these benefits and the increase in testosterone levels that occur when you are not ejaculating habitually on a daily or regular basis. Taking charge of such a primal driver in your body can give a huge sense of achievement as it requires skill and dedication.
The Spiritual benefits of not ejaculating
Renunciation is a fundamental principle in many Spiritual paths. Giving up the ‘cookie’ of ejaculation is, as my Tantra teacher describes it, ‘a really strong yoga’ (for more on this please check out ’50 Misconceptions of Sex’ by Alexa Vartman). It’s difficult to measure ‘Spiritual benefits’ but most of the guys I have spoken to who practice semen retention tell me that their general levels of happiness and satisfaction in their lives increased significantly. This is often felt most clearly in finding deeper, more meaningful relationships with their sexual partner(s). Taking the focus off the goal of ejaculation during sex and intimacy allowed them to explore other elements of connection and communication about sex, and their lives in general. Ejaculation-free sex allows you to slow down, to tune into each other’s bodies more skilfully, and to extend the actual act of sex. This often leads to sex becoming a gateway for flow-states or transcendental experiences. When you are able to master your obsession with ejaculation, and have higher quality sex as described, chasing that little 5-10 second ‘hiccup’ of pleasure loses it’s grip on your mind – you’re simply not as sex-obsessed. Again, as my Tantra teacher puts it: this clears out space for a deeper meditation practice – it’s much easier to sit and meditate if you’re not distracted by sexual thoughts all the time.
The Physical benefits of not ejaculating
While there is still a strong need for more research in this area (particularly with a control group that remains sexually active whilst avoiding ejaculation), the bulk of the published studies have revolved around the physical benefits of not ejaculating. Many of them focus on the increase in testosterone levels that occur after periods of non-ejaculation. Increased testosterone is linked to:
- improvements in mood and increases in energy
- decreases in body fat
- increases in muscle mass
- positive effects on sperm health
The physiological benefits can occur more quickly than you might think. A 2020 review found that abstaining for 24-48 hours was associated with improved sperm motility. A 2001 study showed elevated testosterone levels in participants who didn’t ejaculate for three weeks. Coincidentally, this is why my Tantra school – The New Tantra – runs a program called ‘The 21 Day Challenge’ for exploring non-ejaculation. It generally takes about 3 weeks to change habitual behaviour, so the 21 day experiment is a good place to start!
The Sexual benefits of not ejaculating
Taking away the goal of ejaculation can drastically improve your sex life – don’t say I didn’t warn you! If you currently struggle with premature ejaculation with partners then embarking upon a non-ejaculation practice can help you train your body to contain higher levels of sexual energy and arousal – and therefore last longer. Learning to gauge your arousal levels by exploring slower, more relaxed masturbation and sex (i.e. the Tantric way) will help you understand where your ‘point of no return’ is, and how to tap the breaks before you dive over it. If you are able to master the ‘cumming reflex’, and completely take ejaculation out of the equation, sex opens up into an undulating wave experience that will take you and your partner into far deeper, altered states of connection. When there’s no goal you can genuinely tune in to the moment-to-moment sensations both in your own body and your partner’s.
Experiment with breaking the habit of ejaculation
Ultimately it’s entirely your choice to try this ancient practice, or not. Your motivation might be sexual, spiritual, mental or physical but with dedication, a bit of curiosity and practice it’s likely all areas of your wellbeing and personal growth will benefit. If you have questions about non-ejaculation, the Tantric approach to sex and intimacy, or anything else mentioned in this blog article, let me know in the comments. If you want to learn how to be more in tune with your arousal and master your ejaculation response through a series of virtual coaching sessions or in-person bodywork sessions then feel free to drop me an email on elizabeth@touchofhappiness.co.uk
Libby
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