How to be a master at G-spot stimulation

The Tantric guide to G-spot stimulation

A lot of my clients are curious to learn more about the g-spot: where it is, how it feels, why it might be pleasurable, how to guide their partner’s touch or how to bring their partner more pleasure. A lot of men are a bit uncertain about exactly what to do once their fingers are inside the pussy; they literally feel a bit lost in there! Knowing how to touch and pleasure a woman with internal, g-spot stimulation doesn’t need to be some kind of ninja mystery. This blog article will help you shed some light on the topic, and I’ll share some simple tips on how to expertly massage the g-spot so it feels relaxed and stimulated! If you also want to learn more about techniques for ‘squirting’, check out my other blog. Be forewarned; my Tantric approach to g-spot massage is quite different to what you’ve probably read in men’s mags, or advice columns. It’s almost definitely different to what you’ve seen on porn! So, let’s prepare with some simple physiology…

What, and where, is the G-Spot?

There are a lot of myths and misinformation about the g-spot. Some scientific research suggests that the g-spot doesn’t exist, but I personally can vouch that there is something going on in there that’s separate from clitoral stimulation! Hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of anecdotal reviews from women around the globe would also suggest that the g-spot is a real thing. Contrary to the name, it’s generally not one little magical ‘spot’ that you’re trying to stimulate, it’s bundles of nerve endings and glands, all snugly wrapped in a length of erectile tissue known as the urethral sponge, arranged along the entire top wall of the vagina. If your partner is lying on her back and you put your finger(s) into her vagina with your palm facing up, the length of your fingers will be resting against this pad of erectile tissue. 

Why does G-Spot stimulation feel good?

The internal walls of the vagina are innervated by different nerve endings to the clitoris. So when you massage or play with this area you send signals up through different pathways. More variety of neural pathways in play leads to a more layered or ‘full’ sensation palette. Stimulating the g-spot can feel orgasmic, and that orgasm tends to feel more relaxed than the involuntary muscle spasms that accompany a clitoral orgasm. I have no idea why – let’s just put it down to the wonders of the human body! G-spot orgasms are often accompanied by more full-body sensations like goosebumps, shivers, tingles, heat rushes or a sort of ‘effervescing’ sensation. It can also be a more emotionally expressive experience for a lot of woman, compared to clitoral orgasm. I find that g-spot stimulation can feel quite cathartic and clearing, yet there isn’t a ‘drop’ in energy or arousal as you get with the 5-10 second ‘spasm’ of the clitoral orgasm.

G-spot massage guide

Does G-spot orgasm always involve squirting?

G-spot orgasm can be accompanied by ‘squirting’ or a release of fluid from little ducts near to the vaginal opening, but that doesn’t always happen. There are two types of squirting: forceful and flowing. The first is generally what you see on porn where the actress is tensing and pushing outwards, or the technique involves their partner using some intense pumping movements (FYI they also often pump some water up there beforehand for greater effect, or they are honestly just forcing pee out). The latter is softer and more relaxed – like a gentle trickle or flow of fluid. It often happens for me when my partner is penetrating with his penis rather than his fingers, and will occur even when you’ve literally just emptied your bladder. The fear of ‘losing control’ and squirting/peeing sometimes prevents relaxation and pleasure from g-spot stimulation, and that’s more likely if there is some kind of expectation or goal of ejaculation. So, learning how to stimulate the g-spot in this new, Tantric way, might help your partner relax and experience more pleasure!

Why does G-spot stimulation sometimes feel uncomfortable?

G-spot stimulation can also feel a little bit like you’re going to pee and that’s due to the close proximity of your bladder in your pelvic bowl. It’s also usually because the technique being used involves poking the urethra in a ‘come hither’ motion with the fingers. 

A lot of women find contact on their g-spot quite sensitive, and sometimes painful. This can be due to lack of lubrication, previous painful or rushed penetration (i.e. trauma), and stored tension in the tissue (both muscular and emotional). Again, learning this technique to help relax tension will really help reduce pain and increase pleasure.

Common mistakes in G-spot fingering technique

These are the 8 most common mistakes I’ve been able to identify when it comes to poor g-spot fingering technique. This is based on my personal experiences of being fingered, feedback that clients/friends/lovers have given me and what I’ve seen from the hundreds of couples I’ve coached in intimate touch.

1.

Fingers too stiff.

If you’re gripping her pussy like you’re holding a 30kg bowling ball it’s not going to be that comfortable or pleasurable for her. Relax all the way from your shoulder, soften your arm, let your fingers move inside her as if they’re stroking through honey.

2.

Too fast.

I’ve seen guys sweating like they’re running in the midday heat just frantically pumping their hand in and out of some poor woman’s pussy. I’ve had guys in such a hurry to get their fingers inside my pussy you’d think there was gold in there. Slow down. When you’re playing with her g-spot you can tease her; move slowly and confidently. Give her body time to really feel your touch.

3.

Lack of lube.

The internal tissues of her vagina can become easily irritated by friction – this causes discomfort and pain. Use lube (check out my guide to lube for some recommendations) and you’ll keep the whole experience smooth, wet and pleasurable for her.

4.

Poking the urethra.

The popular ‘come hither’ technique with the fingers is easy to get wrong. It often ends up with guys simply poking and pressing their fingers too hard into the front wall of the vagina, which just feels like being poked in the bladder. 

5.

Awkward hand position.

If you’re in a rush to get your fingers into her pussy then you’re likely not taking the time to make sure she’s relaxed and you’re in a comfortable position. If your wrist or arm are strained your fingers will be stiff, and you’ll likely end up irritating the urethral opening (her pee hole). 

6.

Arm gets tired.

Top tip from my Tantric Gigolo friends – when you’re playing with a very horny woman, you’re massaging her g-spot and perhaps making her squirt…start by using your least dominant hand. It’s a workout, you might get tired, but you can efficiently switch to your stronger arm at an opportune moment!

7.

Woman feels pain and doesn’t say anything.

It’s not a one-way street so the person being penetrated also has to communicate. You can guide and encourage her to do so, and it’s much easier to do that if you’re going slowly. If there is pain just pause and hold there gently to help her relax.

8.

Woman is afraid to let go/fears about peeing.

It’s a vulnerable experience to be penetrated, it’s possibly even more vulnerable to ‘lose control’ and feel like you’ve pee’d yourself. Talk about this beforehand, tell her it’s absolutely OK to let go, tell her she can be messy and let loose, be playful and make it reassuring yet horny. Put some towels or a waterproof sheet down: if you’re prepared it’s far easier for her to relax. When I’m playing with partners I usually have a few of these ‘puppy pads’ to hand to keep everything underneath us dry!

Tantric technique for G-spot stimulation

In this blog we’ll cover massaging and stimulating the g-spot without focussing on squirting. Check out my other blog to hone your squirting technique. 

  1. Take some time to massage or play with her body so she is nice and relaxed.
  2. Start with some vulva massage (check out my online course for genital massage techniques). Use plenty of organic coconut oil or silicone lube.
  3. Ask her if she’s ready for you to go inside.
  4. With her lying on her back, enter slowly with one finger and your palm facing down (towards her spine). Just hold still for a few moments, don’t be in a rush to move.
  5. Gently massage the back wall of her vagina with small circular movements. Turn the hand slightly to massage the side walls as well – slow circular movements, gradually moving the finger from deep inside towards the entrance. We want the walls of the pussy to be nice and relaxed before we go to the g-spot.
  6. If she’s happy for you to, add a second finger and repeat the massage above. Remember to add more lube!
  7. Bring your fingers almost all the way out, turn the hand so the palm faces up (towards her belly) and slowly slide in – your fingers will now be resting against the top wall of her vagina. Again, just hold still here rather than starting any movement or busy fiddling straight away. You can encourage her to grind on your fingers a bit – that can feel quite horny for her.
  8. Now, with the fingers relaxed and flat (not hooked/bent) start sweeping from side to side in a ‘U’ shape. This massages the whole g-pad and is way more pleasurable than the ‘poking’ motion you might be used to. Go slowly, using the other hand to caress her belly, thighs, chest, clitoris etc. 
  9. Keeping the ‘U’ shape motion with your fingers, gradually start to move the hand out of her pussy. This creates more of a ‘zig-zag’ stimulation across the g-pad. Just before you get all the way out, slowly slide back in and start your sweep again.
  10. If she starts to get more aroused you can come up on your knees, hook one of her legs over your shoulder and increase the angle/depth of your penetration. This will start to also stimulate her cervix – check out my blog about ‘Deep Penetration’ for more tips.
  11. Play with the arousal levels by occasionally coming back to step 5-6. Take a bit of focus off the g-spot, spread your touch and stimulation around the rest of her vagina before coming back to g-spot massage and ramping up the hornyness level again.

Foreplay or not fore-play?

This g-spot massage can be a horny and fun stand-alone intimacy practice: sex doesn’t always have to involve penis-in-vagina penetration. Try setting a timer and some limits, remove any goal of orgasm or the usual sexual routine, and just play with this amazing area of her body. It’s also a great warm up for penetrative sex, or a ‘pit-stop’ in the middle of sex. For any guys who struggle with premature ejaculation this can be a wonderful way to help you regulate your own arousal levels – if it gets too horny for you after some time spent penetrating, just pull out and switch to g-spot massage for a bit. Interspersing the stimulation of her body in this way can be so pleasurable, and way more exciting that just a boring and predictable linear progression of your cock going in and staying there until you cum.

If you want to learn more about genital massage techniques remember to check out my online courses in intimate touch, using discount code nsp50 at the checkout for a £50 discount!

With Love,

Libby

x

Thanks for taking time to read my blog articles, I hope that they help you to feel more confident and relaxed with your body, touch and intimacy. If you’d like to support the page you can make a donation and ‘buy me a coffee’ to fuel me whilst I’m writing the next article 🙂

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